Deadly in love with Jason

can you possibly find true love in less than a month? It's so possible, like my idol Khloe Kardashian did, but she actually married the guy; so i guess that is slightly a different concept lol. My mind is over occupied thinking about Jason. When i'm not with him, like at this moment all i can think about is being with him. There's no other feeling like love.

Autism

What's autism? a pervasive developmental disorder of children, characterized by impaired communication, excessive rigidity, and emotional detachment. (Source: Dictionary.com)

Jason has autism this is a disorder that I'm trying to get comfortable with. Even before we met in person he told me he has autism so I was aware of what his situation is. I've had my own experience with autistic people on all different spectrum's. Jason's autism isn't that severe or hardly noticeable, like some. He is a bit rigidity, but not "excessive", more so trembling than rigid.

We both have communication problems, that's why I think our relationship isn't so affectionate or developing because we lack in the communicative area. Together I think we can work together and figure this out.

I do love Jason for who he is, but people such as my sister or his friend *roll eyes* Corey seem to think I don't. People have to be in my position to understand, they're not dating Jason so they don't know. Yes, his friend knew Jason longer than I have, but his friend isn't dating him; so that sort of pisses me off when people are in my personal/dating life and think they can read my fucking brain. If i didn't love Jason for who he was I would be dating him, and definitely wouldn't do anything sexual with him. As Jason said, "We've only been together for about 3 weeks", so of course we still need time to grow. Jason doesn't like when I'm depressed ( i don't either) or he doesn't like that i have hardly any "hobbies/interests" but i know that doesn't mean he don't accept me for who I am. We both need improvements in ourselves, there's nothing wrong with change, and we both need change. The only two major things i want Jason to change is his clothing and his eating habits. When Jason consumes too much sugar (pop) he beings to act more hyper. All i want him to do is lay off the pop. He's making this so difficult. I want to help him, and i want him to help me.

Jason, I love you

I'm crazy :(

Last night over at Jason's I became really depressed. I'm sure it's because i didn't take my anti-depressants yesterday, and that was a withdraw effect. So i started talking about death and other things, then he said, "I can't be with you if your going to behave like this" something along the lines of that. I wasn't expecting that comment from him. I felt like a complete fool because I'm always ruining things. When something good comes along in my life, like Jason, i just have to do something to turn our relationship off or fuck it up. Anyway, he made me feel better though :)

I just wish i wasn't so crazy

Meeting Jason's Dad

I met Jason's dad yesterday. This is exactly how it went.

Jason opens the door....
Jason: Hey dad this is sabrina, my girlfriend

Jason's dad in surprise: oh hi, how are you

(Jason didn't warn his dad or anything that i was coming in to meet him.)

Me: I'm fine/great/good (whatever i said lol). how are you?

Jason's Dad: I'm okay

(Awkward 3 second silence)
Jason goes upstairs unexpectedly. He didn't say, "sabrina i'm going upstairs i'll be right back" or something along the lines, he just left me there with his dad and i'm like WTF (in my mind of course)......

So his dad asked me again: how are you?

and i said, "i'm fine how are you?" AGAIN!

So then i went upstairs with Jason, then we left to go out for the night. (read the blog entry below to hear about our night out).

Meeting his dad was like a 3 minute thing or less, I probably made it seem like a long time the way i described it in this entry lol.

Friday Night Outing

So yesterday Jason and i went out. We went to the mall and out for dinner, not what we usually do. We were going to go bowling, but the lanes were filled so we went back to his house after dinner.

At the mall we mostly browsed stores, it was fun because i hardly do anything on Fridays. I felt like i was out with a friend to be honest, there was no physical affection between us in public. I'm not so affectionate, and i wait on Jason to kiss me or hold my hand. All the couples I saw yesterday were so affectionate with one another and we weren't, i felt kind of depressed about that.

At dinner, it was a nice family restaurant. I've never been there before. We ate breakfast for dinner. I had caramel and banana pancakes (my fave), saugage, and eggs. Jason had, bacon, waffles, and hash-browns. It wasn't too crowded, and it was nice. I felt like i was at home :) I love the way Jason eats, it's so cute; kind of like a baby.

Problems in our relationship

We've been together for about a week, I think. Him and i agree that we have been moving too fast. I don't know how to slow things down. I am going on vacation next week that will give me time away from him, although i don't want time away, but at least it will help me think about our relationship and slow it down.

Top ten things I love about Jason

1. He's a great listener
2. I can trust him
3. He really smart
4. He understands me
5. He makes me happy
6. He likes to have fun
7. He's not fake
8. He loves me for who i am
9. He not judgmental
10. He has a very sexy body